Kindness matters, especially at the beginning

Getting started is hardly ever easy. There you are, with this big empty white space sitting there right in front of you, seeming to say (in my best Judge Smails voice) “Well….. we’re waiting!!!”. There’s no one else there, but it still feels like everyone is just sitting there looking at you with ill tempered impatience. It can feel intimidating, even downright overwhelming. Its these moments when, well… I cheat - kind of. My spouse is a mental health counselor, so I get the kind of positive reinforcement and support anyone might hope for in situations such as these. I am reminded to breathe, settle in, and…. do something- anything, even a little thing. Just start in. Yes, that’s right. Do something. do anything. just start in on something you know you can do. Yes, you should plan out your piece, and yes - having a reference is important (in my case necessary), and having your pallet, water, paper towels, and brushes etc. etc. all set goes into it. But once you know what you’re painting and you’re all setup and ready to go, staring at that big, empty, seemingly endless white void, just start. Sketch in the outline. Don’t get fussy or precious in these moments, just start moving. I think you will find, as I did in this instance where I was staring down the barrel of a 36” x 36” canvas, getting ready to paint something I had not really painted before, moving was progressing. I started in on the light sketch to capture the composition. When I made a mistake, I simply made the adjustment and moved on, resisting the temptation to give up on myself because I felt out of place - awkward. But it was a moment… only a moment that I could move through. I maintained that hard fought momentum with masking fluid (the blue areas in the picture) where I wanted to preserve the white of the canvas for my seafoam. While that dried I mixed up a huge puddle (small pond) of quin gold, burnt umber, and sepia to start in on the sand under the water in the foreground. I then went right into mixing a slightly smaller puddle of the same mix while adding some moonglow (Daniel Smith) for the shadows (using a blue would make my shadows green). Before I knew it, I was at the point of where I took this photo. And I stepped back and thought to myself “Well, that’s one hell of a mess!”. But rather than get frustrated, I simply walked away to grab a Fresca and get a little distance- some space. I wanted to “fix” it. I wanted to fiddle with it - to keep poking at it until it was “perfect”, whatever that means. But my lovely wife simply said “close the door, Sweetie… you’re done for a little while. Come back and look at it with fresh eyes”. Luckily, I have lived long enough to have the scars, and resulting gained wisdom from not listening to the professional, and I headed her advice. And when I had given the painting and myself some space I finally returned, and my opinion had changed! I saw how the pigments had settled in, slightly separated into a lovely, granulated sand seabed. I had shifted from hopelessness and frustration to “Hey, I CAN work with this”. Its amazing what it can do for you when you just get in and take your first steps without fussing over every little thing. Its even more amazing when you let your efforts be for a bit, give it and yourself some time to reflect and settle. When you come back to your work in progress, you just might find something you can work with and manage to have some fun while you’re at it. :)

I guess my point here is, kindness is not just for everyone else. You are also deserving of kindness, patience, and compassion. If you give yourself these even once in a while, your work will improve. I’m sure of it.

Be Well, and know you have another kindred spirit in your corner.

Dave McPhee :)